Joe Grundy

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Posts by Joe Grundy

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  71

  A Man Flirted With Me ...

  by snowbird in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ... at the laundromat on sunday.. it was strange and exhilirating at the same time!.

  i must get out more!.

  tee hee hee.. sylvia.

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  Joe Grundy

  Snowbird

  Ignore these doubters.

  Flirting is one of life's pleasures.
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  42

  What does nicotine feel like?

  by Elsewhere in

  1. social
  2. physical

  i have never smoked or used any tobacco products aside from puffing on a cigar a few times (maybe 5 times in my life).

  even with the few cigar experiences (which i did not enjoy much) i never noticed any real "feeling" from the tobacco.

  what is it supposed to feel like?

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  Joe Grundy

  This is a serious comment. It will sound preachy, sorry.

  I have been a smoker for too many years. Nicotine is an addictive drug with many negative side effects and no positive ones. It is always a bad idea to start smoking. If I could stop, I would.

  In the context of JWN, if you leave the dubs and want to do something to rebel, go and find a prostitute instead. More enjoyable, non-addictive and (if you're careful), much safer. And cheaper in the long run.
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  40

  What finally pushed you over the edge?

  by keyser soze in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  was there one issue or incident, final straw, so-to-speak, that made you leave once and for all?

  i know there was for me.. i had been having doubts for years, and had stopped believing it was the truth.

  but i labored on as a jw, in part because of my family, and in part because i had invested so much of myself in it.

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  Joe Grundy

  ' I was out this Sunday picking sticks up out of the backyard to tidy up a bit '

  Sundays are OK. Friday sunset to Saturday sunset is the really dangerous time! (Tongue in cheek, honestly!)
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  10

  Why do Witnesses think the world is so bad? Here's another reason

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know the fact that the publications say the world is bad, and the beginning of so many public talks.

  and the introductions in the field ministry.. but here is something i have been thinking about.. jw's are not exposed to people from all walks of life.

  growing up in the truth, most of the bro's in my hall worked in construction, cleaning, office workers, or ups.

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  Joe Grundy

  One thing that strikes me is that AFAIK JW is an extremely prescriptive religion/organisation, in that even those matters that are not laid down in writing are attempted to be influenced by custom or a 'guiding word'. It also sees itself as a global religion and that the laws/principles of it's god transcend those of governments. I know that there have been examples of those conflicts in the past.

  Here's an example. Having sex with under-age minors is bad. An easy statement to agree with. But ... what is under-age? In the UK the age of consent is 16. In France 15. In the US I believe it varies from state to state with the minimum age for marriage being as low as 13 (NH or somewhere?). So if my son was 18 and bedded a 15 year old girl he would be a sex offender in UK, a lucky guy in France, and anything between one and the other in US depending on where he was.

  This is a bit philosophical for 7:45 am local time but I think about these things in my idle moments (good and bad I mean, not potentially under-age sex). I was for a long time in a job that made me very judgemental and legalistic in my opinions. Since I retired I see things in a much broader perspective and I suspect that 'retirement' for me may not be so much different from 'leaving the organisation' for ex-JWs.
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  10

  Why do Witnesses think the world is so bad? Here's another reason

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know the fact that the publications say the world is bad, and the beginning of so many public talks.

  and the introductions in the field ministry.. but here is something i have been thinking about.. jw's are not exposed to people from all walks of life.

  growing up in the truth, most of the bro's in my hall worked in construction, cleaning, office workers, or ups.

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  Joe Grundy

  I'd be interested in answers to this question.

  As your experience has broadened, especially those who have left the Jws or other religions, have you become less judgemental? In other words, do you believe (as I do) that the dividing line between 'bad' and 'good' is far less defined than you once thought?
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  10

  Why do Witnesses think the world is so bad? Here's another reason

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know the fact that the publications say the world is bad, and the beginning of so many public talks.

  and the introductions in the field ministry.. but here is something i have been thinking about.. jw's are not exposed to people from all walks of life.

  growing up in the truth, most of the bro's in my hall worked in construction, cleaning, office workers, or ups.

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  Joe Grundy

  (I am not, and never have been, a JW).

  'The world' is neutral. Some people are mostly bad, some are mostly good, and most people are somewhere in between. IMHO the 'badness' or 'goodness' seems to have little to do with what (if any) religion people follow.

  I think BonaFide has a very valid point, especially for 'born-ins' or those who were brought in at a very early age. I'd put this forward as an analogy. The reason (I believe) why so many in-family child abusers get away with it for so long is that the victim knows nothing else and accepts the behaviour as normal. It is common, ime, that it is only when the victim reaches an age (or through other circumstances) when they have a wider experience of the outside do they realise the truth. For this reason some abusers may try to limit the victim's contact with the outside world and and try to pre-condition them to believe that the abusive family is the 'normal' one.

  Sound familiar?
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  102

  Accidental Instantaneous Sex

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the litter-ature over the years has teachings that imply jehovah's special people are all on the verge of having unplanned sex on a moment's notice, with anyone, at any time.. you must have a chaperone if you are to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even briefly.. this applies to people of any ages.

  you could be a 99-year-old raisin whose flagpole hasn't risen since rutherford was living in beth sarim, but you still shouldn't be alone with a pimply 16-year-old shy obese virgin who still plays with barbie dolls.

  she's a seductress!

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  Joe Grundy

  Middleman:

  Point taken. I should more accurately have said 'to provide a degree of protection'.
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  102

  Accidental Instantaneous Sex

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the litter-ature over the years has teachings that imply jehovah's special people are all on the verge of having unplanned sex on a moment's notice, with anyone, at any time.. you must have a chaperone if you are to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even briefly.. this applies to people of any ages.

  you could be a 99-year-old raisin whose flagpole hasn't risen since rutherford was living in beth sarim, but you still shouldn't be alone with a pimply 16-year-old shy obese virgin who still plays with barbie dolls.

  she's a seductress!

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  Joe Grundy

  Protection is there to just give a pause to human imperfection on this.

  No it's not - it's to provide protection from AIDS, STDs and unwanted pregnancy.

  IMHO that should be number 1 priority before worrying about religious or other considerations and hang-ups.

  (May be difficult, of course, if the sex really is accidental and instantaneous.)
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  29

  Going Back

  by rathfear in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is going to sound somewhat crazy.

  having faded completely around two years ago i found myself with new found freedom and if was fun.

  i developed new friendships and hobbies and did some stuff that was frowned upon by those in the truth.

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  Joe Grundy

  I have never been a JW.

  May I respectfully suggest that your issues are less about religion and perhaps more to do with own level of self-confidence and self-esteem? That you believe you may feel more comfortable within the organisation because its a place you know, even though you're not really happy with it?

  Others here who know than I do may suggest to you that this may not be an uncommon feeling, especially in view of your unsatisfactory experiences with some 'worldly' people. And they may suggest that if you return you will come to regret it.

  Good luck.
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  102

  Accidental Instantaneous Sex

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the litter-ature over the years has teachings that imply jehovah's special people are all on the verge of having unplanned sex on a moment's notice, with anyone, at any time.. you must have a chaperone if you are to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even briefly.. this applies to people of any ages.

  you could be a 99-year-old raisin whose flagpole hasn't risen since rutherford was living in beth sarim, but you still shouldn't be alone with a pimply 16-year-old shy obese virgin who still plays with barbie dolls.

  she's a seductress!

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  Joe Grundy

  Use extreme caution when approaching!

  I certainly agree with that advice. Control barriers to be used.